I definitely believe that my resistance and fear keep me from recognizing God's presence. But that presence is also very subtle. Subtle to a fault. Every so often I get "nudges" from God, that feel like they're from God. But in every case, after a few minutes of reveling in "Wow, God actually nudged me! God is really there!" alternative explanations come readily to mind. Too readily. Why can't God be a little more obvious? Why hide so much, so effectively? Where it really matters, to me at least, is that when I sense God wants me do something loving but costly, and I don't want to, and I pray for God to help me want to, to motivate me, nothing happens. If I'm asking for help, God would not be violating my free will if God measurably, perceptively did actually help me want to do the right thing more. So why does God make me handle it completely on my own? Why abandon me to my own resources when I beg for help?
I don't have answers for why God feels so subtle when we're begging for help. But here's the picture that keeps me going:
God is like a river of love flowing constantly around us, through us. The Holy Spirit is the current—always moving, always inviting, never giving up on us or this broken world. The challenge isn't whether God is there (the river never stops flowing), but whether I'm willing to jump in and let myself be carried by that love.
I fail at this daily. I stand on the riverbank, overthinking, waiting for clearer signs, asking for more motivation. Meanwhile, the water keeps flowing, the invitation keeps coming. Your wrestling, your asking for help to love—maybe that's you with your toes in the water, even when it doesn't feel like it.
The river never stops flowing toward us. Even when we can't feel the current. I'm glad I'm on this journey with you! Maybe one day we will both jump in!
Okay this is something that I discovered a few years ago. God is in us all, at all times. Once we understand this astonishing revelation, our communication with God becomes instant. The life force that created us is always with us. It was present before we were born and it will be present throughout time. Love is God's key for us to understand ourselves, Our purpose!
I definitely believe that my resistance and fear keep me from recognizing God's presence. But that presence is also very subtle. Subtle to a fault. Every so often I get "nudges" from God, that feel like they're from God. But in every case, after a few minutes of reveling in "Wow, God actually nudged me! God is really there!" alternative explanations come readily to mind. Too readily. Why can't God be a little more obvious? Why hide so much, so effectively? Where it really matters, to me at least, is that when I sense God wants me do something loving but costly, and I don't want to, and I pray for God to help me want to, to motivate me, nothing happens. If I'm asking for help, God would not be violating my free will if God measurably, perceptively did actually help me want to do the right thing more. So why does God make me handle it completely on my own? Why abandon me to my own resources when I beg for help?
Tim,
I don't have answers for why God feels so subtle when we're begging for help. But here's the picture that keeps me going:
God is like a river of love flowing constantly around us, through us. The Holy Spirit is the current—always moving, always inviting, never giving up on us or this broken world. The challenge isn't whether God is there (the river never stops flowing), but whether I'm willing to jump in and let myself be carried by that love.
I fail at this daily. I stand on the riverbank, overthinking, waiting for clearer signs, asking for more motivation. Meanwhile, the water keeps flowing, the invitation keeps coming. Your wrestling, your asking for help to love—maybe that's you with your toes in the water, even when it doesn't feel like it.
The river never stops flowing toward us. Even when we can't feel the current. I'm glad I'm on this journey with you! Maybe one day we will both jump in!
Okay this is something that I discovered a few years ago. God is in us all, at all times. Once we understand this astonishing revelation, our communication with God becomes instant. The life force that created us is always with us. It was present before we were born and it will be present throughout time. Love is God's key for us to understand ourselves, Our purpose!