Guilt & Freedom
The Fall to Violence, Part 9: When Awareness Becomes the Doorway to Change
Guilt & Freedom
The Fall to Violence, Part 9: When Awareness Becomes the Doorway to Change
TL;DR: Guilt isn’t about shame — it’s about awakening. We are not guilty for the world we inherited, but we are responsible for how we live within it. Freedom is the God-given capacity to transcend the patterns that shaped us.
This is Part 9 in our journey through Marjorie Hewitt Suchocki’s The Fall to Violence. Together we’re learning, unlearning, and listening for what love asks of us in a world we did not choose but are called to help heal.
[Part 1], [Part 2], [Part 3], [Part 4], [Part 5], [Part 6], [Part 7], [Part 8].
After Inheritance Comes Awakening
In the last post, we explored the third layer of original sin:
Social inheritance:
The stories, systems, wounds, and patterns we are born into.
Chapter 8 now asks the next question:
Once we become aware of what shaped us… what happens next?
Suchocki won’t let us land in fatalism.
She insists we are not prisoners of the past.
Awareness is not despair,
Awareness is invitation.
And this is where she introduces two words that sit in tension
But together hold the key to human transformation:
Guilt
and
Freedom
Both matter.
Neither is the enemy.
Guilt Isn’t Condemnation — It’s Recognition
Suchocki is crystal clear:
We are not guilty for the violence we inherited.
We are not guilty for our biology.
We are not guilty for our ancestors’ failures.
We are not guilty for systems that existed before we were born.
But…
We can become guilty once we recognize harm and refuse to change.
Guilt, in her framework, is not about shame or moral pollution.
Guilt is about responsibility awakened.
Guilt is the moment we realize:
I’ve participated in something harmful.
I’ve benefited from something unjust.
I’ve hurt someone because of my own unexamined instincts or inherited patterns.
I’ve contributed to the very thing I pray God would heal.
Guilt is the “ping” of moral awareness,
Not a divine accusation,
But a divine invitation.
Suchocki sees it as:
The beginning of accountability,
Not the end of grace.
Freedom: Our Capacity to Transcend What Formed Us
Freedom, for Suchocki, is not abstract autonomy.
Freedom is not rugged individualism.
Freedom is not “I can do whatever I want.”
Freedom is a relational gift:
Freedom is the God-given ability to rise above what shaped us.
Humans have a unique capacity to:
Reflect
Reinterpret
Choose differently
Imagine alternatives
Break cycles
Challenge systems
Rewrite stories
This means:
Our inheritance is powerful, but not final.
We are shaped, but not determined.
We are influenced, but not imprisoned.
We are patterned, but not condemned.
Freedom is God’s trust in us.
Freedom is the way God invites us to participate in the healing of the world.
The Tension That Saves Us
Suchocki says we hold guilt and freedom together:
Guilt tells us what must change.
Freedom tells us change is possible.
If we had guilt without freedom, we would drown in shame.
If we had freedom without guilt, we would never confront harm.
Together, they become the doorway to transformation.
This tension is holy.
It’s where God meets us with both truth and tenderness.
What This Is (and Isn’t) Saying About Human Nature
This chapter refuses extremes.
It is not saying:
“Everything is fine, you’re a victim of circumstance.” (denial)
“Everything is your fault, you’re depraved.” (self-loathing)
It is saying:
You didn’t choose the world that shaped you.
But you can choose the world you help shape next.
Original sin names the world we inherit.
Freedom names the world we can create.
Guilt names the moment we wake up between the two.
This is a profoundly hopeful anthropology.
Where This Meets My Story
Last night Stacy and I were watching The Morning Show (Apple TV+).
In one episode, Bradley is searching the streets of New York for her brother,
Hal — a drug addict lost during the early panic of the COVID pandemic.
She had set a boundary with him,
Left him to his choices,
And carried a heavy load of guilt for it.
When she finally found him,
Hurt, scared, hospitalized, but alive,
They embraced,
And something in me broke open.
I sat there in tears.
Because my brother died in New York City… alone.
We’re still waiting for the toxicology report.
Still waiting for answers that can’t possibly heal the ache.
And like Bradley, I carry guilt.
I know I helped Neil over the years,
Phone calls, support, presence where I could offer it.
But I also know I could have done more.
I could have checked in sooner.
I could have pushed harder.
I could have created more safety, more connection, more lifelines.
That’s the thing about guilt: it’s never abstract.
Guilt is personal.
Guilt is the echo of love replaying scenes we wish we could rewrite.
But as I sat with Suchocki’s chapter,
And with that scene on the screen,
I felt something shift.
Guilt isn’t there to condemn me.
Guilt is the sign that love wants something more from me now.
Not more regret.
More responsiveness.
More awareness of how fragile people are.
More willingness to act when someone is drowning,
Even if they don’t know how to ask for help.
Bradley’s brother suffered from the disease of addiction.
I don’t know what took Neil yet.
But I do know this:
Freedom is not the ability to walk away from people and say,
“Their choices are their choices.”
Freedom is the capacity to show up differently the next time love asks something of me.
I can’t change what shaped Neil,
And I can’t change how his story ended.
But I can choose how I live now.
I can choose to interrupt the patterns of distance and silence.
I can choose to err on the side of compassion.
I can choose to stay present with people who are hurting,
Even when it’s complicated or messy.
Maybe this is what Suchocki means when she says guilt and freedom belong together:
Guilt names the hurt,
Freedom names the invitation,
And love is what holds the two in tension.
I can’t save the past.
But by grace,
I can help heal the future.
Love asks more of me.
This chapter helped me hear that again.
The Gift Hidden in Suchocki’s Vision
Here is the hope:
We are not defined by the harm we inherit
Nor by the harm we’ve done.
We are defined by the God who believes we can change.
Freedom is grace.
Guilt is grace.
Awareness is grace.
Responsibility is grace.
Transformation is grace.
All of it is God inviting us into partnership,
Into healing,
Into becoming the kind of humans
Who make the world safer for those who come after us.
Let’s Talk
When have you felt the tension between guilt (awareness) and freedom (capacity to change)?
What inherited patterns are you becoming aware of in this season of your life?
What small act of freedom might be possible today — one that breaks, interrupts, or heals what shaped you?
Closing Prayer
God who awakens and frees,
You do not shame us,
You invite us into clarity and courage.
Where guilt is rising,
Let it become recognition, not condemnation.
Where freedom is stirring,
Let it become action, not avoidance.
Teach us the holy art of interrupting what we’ve inherited
So that what flows through us
Is mercy, not fear;
Healing, not harm;
Love, not violence.
Amen.